Two weeks ago while celebrating my birthday, I met a very attractive DJ at my favorite bar. His name is Patrick, and immediately I was into him. He had brown hair, a nice muscle build, and beautiful teeth. For those who don’t know, I’m a big stickler on teeth. It is probably one of the first things I notice about a person when I meet them. And anyone with poor oral hygiene who hasn’t even mastered the ability to floss, is not someone I could see myself with romantically. The night we met he gave me his number and a birthday kiss. After that we started texting, and from there, we finally planned our first date.
We never made it on that date.
I saw him two times after that, but not a single one of those times was a date. Once I saw him the night I ran into my ex, and the second time I saw him was on Halloween. For Halloween he was DJing at one of the bars for the Halloween Carnival and I went down there with a few friends to check out the festivities.
He got me and my friends into the bar and bought me a drink. He showered me with kisses and compliments and it felt amazing to have this attractive man tell me how he thought I was so beautiful. And as much as I wanted to believe him, I knew it was too good to be true.
And I was right.
After he got me a drink I went off and continued to celebrate with my friends. I didn’t want to leave them and he didn’t want to abandon his, so I understood why he felt like he wanted to part ways for some portion of the night. If I had it my way we would have continued dancing and kissing. A part of me didn’t care if I abandoned my friends. I was happy to be with a boy who liked me, but I knew the right thing was not to abandon them. Old me would have followed the boy, new me is trying to remember friends first and love later.
I spent the rest of my night out with my friends, and right before we were about to leave the party, I made us stop back into the bar where Patrick had been so I could say goodbye. I never found him in the bar, so we left and headed home. I was tired anyway, and everyone I was with had work early in the morning.
When we finally got home, and were snacking on my typical drunk order of Domino’s Cheesy Bread, I got a text from Patrick inviting me over. My heart skipped a beat. I wanted to see him and sleep by his side. I didn’t want to really be sexual right away because I still wanted that date, and call me crazy, but I would like to get to know someone before I sleep with them sexually.
I called an Uber and I headed over to his place. When I arrived he greeted me with open arms and a big smile, and he grabbed my hand while we walked down the streets of his apartment complex. He kept making sweet comments about how happy he was that I was there and how adorable/attractive he thought I was. It was sweet to have him fawning over me, but I have a hard time believing someone when they compliment me like that. It’s not that I am insecure and don’t feel attractive, more so it’s the fact that I’m turned off when they only notice physical things about me. I am so much more than a pretty face. Also, with him, it felt too good to be true. Something was off, and I was determined to find it.
When we were walking, he made a comment that we were looking for his roommate and the dog who went out for a walk. He then adds that his roommate was very upset with him.
After eventually running into his roommate and making some brief introductions, we headed inside the apartment into his bedroom. I honestly didn’t want to hook up, and I’m glad we never made it to that point because it might have been hard to say no. But the more I looked around the room of a 30 year old DJ, the sadder I kind of felt. Was this where I was going to be at 30? In a shared apartment in the Valley still trying to figure out what exactly I wanted to do with my life? Not that I think he’s a loser or anything, but by 30 I would like to be married, in a house, and set on my career path.
While laying on the bed talking, I kept seeing his phone light up and continue to vibrate as a lot of text messages poured in. They were from his roommate, so I asked again if everything was okay. It seemed weird to me that his roommate was so upset, but after pestering with questions Patrick still never opened up about what was wrong. So as he was drunkenly trying to text back I looked at his phone and saw all the messages. They read things like”Fuck you” and “Get out you can’t live here anymore.” The texts were then proceeded by about 10 phone calls from him. It never ended.
It was weird, and immediately I felt uncomfortable. My mind went to worst case scenario and I thought, if I stay here, his roommate could murder us in our sleep. I barely knew Patrick, and I sure as hell didn’t know his roommate. My thoughts, however, were interrupted when I heard banging on the door.
That was the moment I for sure wanted to get the fuck out.
Patrick starts apologizing and saying he doesn’t know what’s going on, but all I knew was that I wanted to leave. I told him I was going to go and he asked if he could come stay with me. The nice guy in me mumbled “sure,” but the less fearful one inside screamed “no.” I didn’t want this guy coming home with me, and I no longer wanted to be in that apartment, but I already said he could come so he started to change and ordered an uber. When he opened the phone to call the Uber the Grindr app was right there and immediately I was turned off to the whole thing. I may hook up with guys, but I don’t use Grindr to do it. I go on dates with them and I get to know them. I don’t order dick to my door like cheesy bread.
“Hi, can I get that with a side of STD?”
As we leave the bedroom, his roommate comes out of his room and proceeds to yell goodbye to me as I’m awkwardly waiting by the front door for Patrick. I open the door and stand in the apartment hallway waiting for him to follow, but then I hear his roommate start yelling at him “I didn’t know WHAT boy you would bring home tonight!”
And with that, I ran.
I didn’t want to be there while they argued and I heard things I surely didn’t want to hear. I ran out of his building and I looked back to see if I was being followed. He didn’t follow me, and I felt a wave of relief wash over me as I stood on the street alone. I called my own uber, but then thought why would I pay for one when he had ordered it? I guess I wanted to be nice and not use his, but he just put me through the most awkward and uncomfortable experience of my dating life. So when his Uber arrived, I hopped in and went home. Why the fuck should I pay for the escape from the hell he put me in?
Later that night he sent some drunken apology and the next day he sent another. He never explained the situation, just apologized that it happened. I didn’t really accept it, and honestly I’m kind of thankful. Maybe that was the universe’s way of showing me early on not to waste my time. Another lesson to be learned is that I should just say no if I want to, because I have the right to do that. I find that I give in just to be nice, but why risk myself for the sake of a stranger? It kills me not knowing why that roommate was mad, but from the sound of it it seems like he might be in love with Patrick.
Well, Patrick’s roommate, you can have him. I pass.