When it comes to dating in today’s society, we have many choices of people to choose from. With dating apps like Tinder, it makes it easy for us to see all the people we could “potentially” be with. Ideally this sounds great! We have an abundance of people to choose from, but is too many choices a good thing or a bad thing? Overall, I say bad. But don’t worry, I will telly you why.
When we have so many choices, it makes it harder to settle on one thing. Have you ever been to a restaurant with such a large variety of options that you found it nearly impossible to decide on one thing because so many things sounded good? I think this same struggle is prevalent with our dating world. And this is a problem for a couple reasons.
First, it makes it hard to settle on a person. If you’re dating someone and you start to feel like you maybe want to be a little more serious, you might have this small feeling of doubt that you’re picking the right person. Back to the food reference: Have you ever ordered something and then doubted the food choice you made because what if you wanted the Spaghetti instead of the Chicken Parmesan? Both are great dishes, but just what if you liked the other more? Knowing that you have the ability to talk to multiple people at once, it’s going to be extremely difficult to develop a special connection with just one person. Therefore it’s even possible for no connection to ever be made. The choice can sometimes become overwhelming, leaving an individual to miss out and never choose at all.
A second problem with so many choices is that it always leaves the door open for this mentality that there could be someone better. In the back of everyone’s mind is that, “If this doesn’t work out, I can just check my Tinder and find someone else.” We start to play this horrible game with ourselves where we start to tell ourselves things like, “we could find someone hotter” or “I could find someone taller.” So you go into every single date thinking that if any little thing goes wrong it’s not meant to be and there’s someone else for me. This is so damaging because it can stop people from pursuing things that could eventually turn into great relationships.
I also find this problem of choice to be relevant in an actual relationship and not just the dating process. I find that my generation is so quick to give up. That if anything goes wrong in the relationship, fights or disagreements, it’s not meant to be. We have become accustomed to this idea that love doesn’t come with sacrifice, so if love turns sacrificial it starts to feel wrong. It get’s hard and people aren’t cut out for that. Instead, this idea of an “easier love” creeps into our thoughts, and we think back to all the choices we once had before. I’m even guilty of this mentality, but I can tell you right now I never gave up on a person or a relationship. But sometimes people aren’t that strong, and they fall prey to the choice and go in search of that “easier love.”
I enjoy having choices, but I do find it a bit overwhelming at times. It makes it hard to choose someone to focus my attention on, but it is also nice to know that if it doesn’t work out with one person there is someone else out there. I just think it’s a fine line that we all have to figure out how to balance. We have to learn to give our all to a single person and to fight for that relationship, but we also need to understand that sometimes the choice of someone else is just what we need. My biggest fear, however, is that we will never find this balance. And I will be stuck fighting for people who would rather choose someone else than fight for me.